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Funny Quotes for College Students

By

Sally Painter

Sally is a prolific non-fiction and fiction writer, who has appeared in multiple print and digital publications.

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You can find some funny quotes that reflect the life of college students. Sarcasm and minimizing the situation are two fun ways to poke fun at yourself and the situations you may find yourself facing while at college.

Short Funny Quotes for College Students

All quotes, unless otherwise noted, are original from author Sally Painter.

1. "Stress moved in and I checked out."
2. "Telltale sign of who's failing classes - Anyone sleeping in."
3. "College is for idiots!"
4. "You have to be real serious to study math."
5. "And to think trees gave up their lives for this class book!"
6. "I watched an egg frying and thought this is what college does to your brain?"
7. "Zombies have the right to attend college. They've had it for centuries!"
8. "What is blue all over? Me!"
9. "Group think is a college prerequisite."
10. "Back off, I'm easily triggered!"
11. "I need to color! I need to color!"
12. "I'm triggered, what's your excuse?"
13. "What's the difference between breakfast and lunch? Nothing. Both taste terrible."
14. "I just realized my modern lit class started an hour ago… yesterday."
15. "Whoever said I wanted to be here?"
16. "How much money does it take to eat at college? More than I have!"
17. "Can I borrow an ounce of can't for my cup of EVAH?
18. "I know how much is in a cup and this isn't enough!"
19. "Life was easier before college. I got to sleep."
20. "My mom would never approve of this!"
21. "Help me! I'm stuck in class and can't get out!"
22. "Is all this worth it?"
23. "They call me skippy. You can figure out what I skip."
24. "When I graduated high school, I was filled with hope and excitement, then I got to college."
25. "A nostalgic moment is when I think about PE."
26. "I want my mommy!"
27. "College is hard. I have to wake myself up every morning."
28. "College life is character building! Really?"
29. "Ramen noodles are a food group."

    

30. "Blurry eyes is my normal look."
31. "Washing clothes was not how I envisioned college."
32. "And I thought sharing a bathroom with my sister was bad!"
33. "There is a lot of waiting in lines around here!"
34. "I just don't bother with a razor anymore."
35. "My assignment? My roommate ate it!"
36. "My personal economics meant I couldn't buy the book for the economics class!"
37. "I just realized that I run a lot more than I used to."
38. "There is no I in team since I forgot the team meeting."
39. ""I don't approve this message!"

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Funny College Quotes About Seniors

Seniors have put their time in, and have the hilarious sayings to prove it!

1. "What did the senior college student say to the Freshman? RUN!
2. "Best advice from this senior? Cold pizza is just as good on the second day as it is on the third day."
3. "A clean dorm room is a sign you aren't partying enough."
4. "I've had more bad hair days since I started college than good hair days!"
5. "I'm majoring in philosophy so I can be unemployed all my life."
6. "After four years, I've realized that the meaning of life can't be found here!"

Funny College Quotes About Friends

Sometimes friends are the only people who understand what you're going through.

1. "Wow, my friend's parents saved for 18 years, just so he can get drunk every night!"
2. "Buddy, college is supposed to set you on your life path, but it looks like you took a wrong turn!"
3. "Sometimes you just need to tell your friend to stop whining about classes and go back to bed!"
4. "A real friend wouldn't let me be here!"
5. "My roommate sits in the corner watching me!" "Ah buddy, your roommate dropped out last month."

Famous Funny Quotes About College

Some famous quotes have been made about college life. Most of these quotes still ring true for today's college students.

1. "Commencement speeches were invented largely in the belief that outgoing college students should never be released into the world until they have been properly sedated." - G. B. Trudeau
2. "Let me say no danger and no hardship ever makes me wish to get back to that college life again." - Joshua Chamberlain
3. "Economists report that a college education adds many thousands of dollars to a man's lifetime income -- which he then spends sending his son to college." - Bill Vaughn
4. "Colleges don't make fools they only develop them." - George Horace Lorimer
5. "You are the nerds who are going to make some serious bank, which is why I am here today…to marry the best-looking amongst you." - Minday Kaling
6. "Everyone has a right to a university degree in America, even if it's in Hamburger Technology." - Clive James

   

7. "They teach anything in universities today. You can major in mud pies." - Orson Welles
8. "The chief value in going to college is that it's the only way to learn it really doesn't matter." - George Edwin Howes
9. "Does college pay? They do if you are a good open-field runner." - Will Rogers

Quotes From College Movies

College movies explore the ups and downs of college life. Many screenwriters have found life at colleges fodder for comedies.

1. "My advice to you is to start drinking heavily." - John "Bluto" Blutarsky played by John Belushi in Animal House
2. "This is college. Let me think for a minute." Rodney Dangerfield in Back to School

   

3. Mitch Taylor: "What are you doing?"
   Chris Knight: "Self-realization. I was thinking of the immortal words of Socrates, who said '... I drank what?' " Real Genius
4. Shelley Darlington: "But I'm 27."
   Marvin: "But that's 59 in Bunny Years." - The House Bunny
5. "You expect tap dancing to solve people's problems?
   No, we don't. We're using the whole range of musical dance numbers..." - Damsels in Distress

Finding Funny Quotes for College Students

Life in college can be filled with extremes - good and bad with few in-between. Funny quotes help you keep a sense of humor to get you through the extremes that aren't so good.

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